Patience

Patience is a virtue. The cliché goes as far back as Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales; (“Pacience is an heigh vertu, certeyne;” Patience is a high virtue, and that’s for certain.) The actual concept goes as far back as the story of Jacob; waiting seven years to marry Rachel (actually, seven years and one week). What’s so virtuous about it is that Jacob carried on the lineage, which became the twelve tribes of Israel (who themselves have to wait 40 years before entering the promised land); though Christ himself came from the lineage of Leah (Judah).
The apostle Paul writes to the Galatian church that patience is one of the fruits of the spirit (Galatians 5:22). What’s striking about the language is the idea of fruit, something that grows. Patience doesn’t just appear, ironically you have to wait for it. Just as we hope for that which we don’t yet see, “we wait for it with patience” (Romans 8:25). It’s somewhat circular logic, but we have to wait for patience (among other things) with patience.
So what I’m getting at here is that I am not a patient person. It is one of the most striking sins I have had to face in my growth. At some point in my life, I have made an idol for myself; one of comfort and entitlement. My impatience seeds from, and further feeds (again with the circular logic), my self-centeredness, cynicism, and what’s worse, my sour disposition towards those that test what little patience I actually have.
But my impatience doesn’t accomplish anything. In fact, my impatience usually makes the clock tick slower. But sadly, no one else has sympathy for me in these moments.
What sparked this epiphany was a simple, innocent incident. I was at Starbucks (it’s the only coffee-shop by campus, so don’t judge me) and I ordered my usual; black coffee. I’m not a fan of bells and whistles. I’m sure part of the reason I like black coffee is because it’s quick (nothing fancy, so I don’t have to wait). God forbid, I have to wait for anything…
So in the midst of the afternoon rush of mocha latte crappuccinos with a shot of soy-milk, I was going to be simple. Two bucks in hand ($1.96, atleast for now), I order the simplest thing on the menu; black coffee. And then, I wait…
People come and go, fancy drinks are thrown around, people leave satisfied; all is well. And there I stand, uncaffeinated and on the verge of melt down (really I only waited for five minutes, but still it’s the principle of the matter). The sweet lady who took my order is running around like crazy, making drinks, taking orders, etc. It was at this point that I realized that my frustrations were pointless. She wasn’t doing it on purpose. She was doing her job. When I placed my order, she called it out to the other baristas, but it fell on deaf ears (at least I heard it).
In the midst of the chaos, she caught my eyes, and like a deer caught in headlights, she stopped. “Are you still waiting on your order?” She apologetically handed me my coffee, and I genuinely thanked her. And immediately, she was flung back into the chaos. I was not the center of her worries, nor was I the root of some sick joke. She was doing her job as best she could, and she unintentionally forgot about such a simple order.
Patience is a foreign language, and I’m having to learn by immersion.
Just like being in a foreign country, I can insist on being stubborn and only speaking English, but what will I accomplish? I can stand firm and remain impatient and visibly fly off the handle any time I am inconvenienced or my precious time is wasted. But there is no love in that. There is no growth. There is only my self-centeredness abounding all the more.
Temper tantrums weren’t cute when I was three, why would they be when I’m twenty-three?
Sadly, my impatience doesn’t stop there. It definitely spills over into all facets of my life. I can’t even enjoy a book or movie without wondering how much more I have until I’m done. It doesn’t matter how great it is. In the end it’s all a matter of page numbers or minutes until the credits.
In all of this, God is (though not always gently) reminding me that I am not the center of it all. William Henley was wrong, when he wrote Invictus. He famously touted: “I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.” And though he may have championed an “unconquerable soul,” I sure haven’t.
All of this to say, I pray for patience. It is indeed admirable, and definitive if I am to lead a life of love. After all, “Love is patient” (1 Corinthians 13:4). And that of course, is Agape, the Greek term for “charity.” This of course applies to the love of a married couple, but it is so much more. “If I speak…, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal” (1 Corinthians 13:1). So if love is patient, and patience is to me as a foreign language, pray that I can learn to speak in love. That I can learn patience.

At the behest of my sweet mother, I’m updating my blog! I apologize to those who have been waiting with bated breath for the next post. But, alas, the wait is over!
I guess I’ll just briefly run roughshot over my ministry here at UConn (because, I’m about to send out my first letter from the field, and then duplicate here…so no need to actually triplicate it). But, I will say that I love my job! Thanks so much for your prayers and pennies (lots of pennies!) that got me here. I’m helping lead a guy’s bible study, still leading worship, and generally just being a part of the community here at UConn!
As sort of an aside, I want to share a piece of my brain/heart with y’all. Tonight(Tuesday) we will have our large group meeting. Needless to say, I’m very excited. Among other reasons, tonight we are singing the hymn “Come, Ye Sinners,” which is one of my favorites. To those who aren’t familiar with the song, or even those who are, I’m posting the lyrics (If you aren’t interested in sifting through the lyrics, but for whatever reason want to read what I have to say about them, skip ahead, I’m not done yet!(But, really though, read the lyrics, they are great)):
Come, ye sinners, poor and wretched,
Weak and wounded, sick and sore;
Jesus, ready, stands to save you,
Full of pity, joined with power.
He is able, He is able;
He is willing; doubt no more.

Come ye needy, come, and welcome,
God’s free bounty glorify;
True belief and true repentance,
Every grace that brings you nigh.
Without money, without money
Come to Jesus Christ and buy.

Come, ye weary, heavy laden,
Bruised and broken by the fall;
If you tarry ’til you’re better,
You will never come at all.
Not the righteous, not the righteous;
Sinners Jesus came to call.

Let not conscience make you linger,
Nor of fitness fondly dream;
All the fitness He requires
Is to feel your need of Him.
This He gives you, this He gives you,
’Tis the Spirit’s rising beam.

Lo! The Incarnate God, ascended;
Pleads the merit of His blood.
Venture on Him; venture wholly,
Let no other trust intrude.
None but Jesus, none but Jesus
Can do helpless sinners good.
A special thanks to the hymnist, Joseph Hart, for writing such powerful words.
Some of you may not know this, but while at LSU, I led a bible study on the theology of hymns. Basically, we read through (or played) some of the songs we do at RUF, and discussed why these songs said what they said, and why we still sing them today. Joseph Hart died in 1768, and to this day, people still sing his words with reverence and joy. This being one of my favorite and theologically rich songs I’ve encountered, I wrote a bible study on this song.
Because we are playing this song tonight, I went and dug that up. To the relief of many, I won’t go into my admiration for this song in front of the students. But here, well that’s a different story…
Actually, the song really speaks for itself, but some of the nuggets of biblical wisdom really stick to my ribs. In the very first verse, we see that we are “poor and wretched, weak and wounded, sick and sore.” On top of being called sinners, we should be offended by the choice of adjectives, but really I think too much of our energy is wasted trying to tell ourselves that we aren’t exactly that; poor, weak, sick sinners. The beauty of the song is that Hart didn’t try to add suspense, the first verse can stand alone as a bit of truth. Sinners need Jesus, and Jesus stands ready to save us, ”filled with pity, joined with power”! He is not only able to save us from the consequences of our sin (power), but also he is willing (pity). In the first verse alone, we see that Christ is our willing and powerful savior; “doubt no more”!
As much as the first verse is a solid introduction, it’s the third verse that I feel carries the song. The original line is “come, ye weary, heavy laden, lost and ruined by the fall.” And though, I feel “bruised and broken” works better as an alliteration (while also remaining theologically accurate), there is something gut-wrenchingly powerful about the idea of being “lost and ruined.” Created in His image, without the stain of sin, then comes the Fall. We weren’t merely shaken up, or dented a bit, we were lost and ruined, in need of someone to find us and fix us.
“If you tarry ’til you’re better, you will never come at all.” What an image! If we wait until he are perfect, or even minutely better, we will never come. What’s worse, is that when we do hesitate before going to God, we are in effect, trying to do it ourselves. By our own merit, we are trying to move away from our sins, by ourselves. It’ll never happen, and we’ll never come. “Not the righteous, sinners Jesus came to call.”

This reminds of an encounter between Jesus and the Pharisees (because it’s almost an exact quote):
Matthew 9:10-13
10 And as Jesus reclined at table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were reclining with Jesus and his disciples.
11 And when the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”
12 But when he heard it, he said, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.
13 Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Moving on to the fourth verse, “All the fitness he requires, is to feel your need of Him. This he gives you…” We need not be strong or fit, either physically or spiritually when we first come to Christ. The only fitness he requires is that we feel the truth that we actually need Him. We don’t have to have the bible (or theology) memorized. We don’t have to have all of our sins in order. All we need to have is the desire for Him, and he will give us the strength and love to then grow more fit (this is called sanctification, and I’m a huge fan!).
“This He gives you!” God’s grace is a gift to us, but so is faith! We are not faithful by our own will, it is this gift of “faith alone” that has justified us.
Romans 9:30-32
30 What shall we say, then? That Gentiles who did not pursue righteousness have attained it, that is, a righteousness that is by faith;
31 but that Israel who pursued a law that would lead to righteousness did not succeed in reaching that law.
32 Why? Because they did not pursue it by faith, but as if it were based on works. They have stumbled over the stumbling stone

Ephesians 2:8-9
8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,
9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

So that no one may boast, “I tarried until I was better! I made myself more appealing to God, he loved me more because of what I did!”

Not the righteous, Sinners Jesus came to call; weak, wounded, sick, and wretched sinners. He is willing and He is able to save those sinners, those who come when He calls.

***I think that made for the wait, I could be wrong though.